Portland blast! Part two: SOUR GRAPES

In one week I am going to Portland to see dear friends and celebrate the tenth anniversary of Jackpot Records which is a place that has shaped me as much as any location or even as much as a friend. This is the celebration, the next five days will be my five favorite bands in Portland right now! or at least that is the promise.



Sour Grapes - Send My Valentine to the Burn Ward

The Sour Grapes have one of the best legends of any band ever. Nicole Georges is at the start of the story, the night I met Nicole she showed me a picture of my friend Travis with his face in a pieplate, reddish-purple fruit smeared from his ears to his chin. She explained that the photo was taken at a pie-eating contest held at her house, that he was the winner, and that at some point before he won he actually threw up into one of the pies and just kept going like nothing happened. She is trouble in a big way.

Anyway, the story is that she was involved with a boy who turned out to be just the worst chump, and she furiously wrote out words for a clutch of angry songs about him. Here are some sample lyrics:

"I thought you just liked me, I didn't know you would call me a ho to my face"

"If I was so wrong about you writing me a song, then when I said you were great to my friends I was probably wrong"

"What you might not know is if it wasn't for coffee, then I wouldn't like you"

"you want me to put out? you won't even make out"

So she ran over to her friend Dawn Riddle's house who quickly turned the words into songs. I think they were playing shows within a month, and added third member Steve Gevurtz who is one of my favorite harmonizers ever. I think people got their feelings hurt immediately, which was ostensibly the point.

The first time I saw them was a total hectic mess, with the boy villain of all their songs showing up to check things out. They ended up playing in Nicole's bedroom, where a handful of kids sat on the floor quietly while the Sour Grapes began with their most brutal knife turn, "Send My Valentine to the Burn Ward."

The thing is Nicole has a nice room: quilts, pictures of animals on the wall, everyone sitting close and laughing. And "Burn Ward" starts so gently and sweet, even before the words come in. Dawn has a really warm, close voice, and when she sings "I want to set you on fire" you don't think literal. And even when Nicole asks "Do you mean inspire me?" you're still following with your heart, imagining this love story. And then the response falls like a building collapsing: "No I mean realistically, I mean with kerosene, I mean to push you down the stairs, I mean to throw a match in your hair."

It's during these lines that the song soars in an epic, totally lo-fi way. The guitar switches from muted single notes to impatient, ringing chords while the keyboard skips, descends, and climbs again with this breathless merry-go-round beauty. It's spellbinding, with a lightness that makes you feel like it's okay to laugh about the violence, but also a deftness that makes you realize this isn't a joke song.

This is where I'm hesitant to discuss it any further because I feel like I'm going to ruin them. Their bad-kid energy flashes even brighter in the second half of the song, but then it also fades to a sincere, almost vulnerable sadness that's even sharper for the contrast. After the band reins in the chorus, the meanness continues in this very specific, precise way: "I don't like your zine... I don't like your fake emo ways." It's funny and laughter is clearly encouraged, but then the song darkens and it makes my skin crawl even now. Again the pace gallops but this time Nicole sings: "and if I had fallen in love with you, you'd be the very first to know, and if I had wanted to marry you, I would've told you so." At the point that they recorded the song it had been years since any of this had happened but there's a tenderness in the lines that fills my eyes every time, like there's a real, present pain that's truly hard to confront. The same way that the opening lines mislead you into thinking you're getting a love song instead of a hate song, the sudden clarity is like a sudden slap, like you're wrong again, you're getting a glimpse into heartache, not a story to laugh at. And that kind of helplessness is contagious, at this point I'm always struck by the song with the same frustration at this asshole. Honestly I'm surprised no one's ever broken his nose.

The Sour Grapes ran out of complaints about the kid after a few songs, and starting turning their attention to other people that frustrated them. Co-workers, other bands, J.K. Rowling, um, other bands? They made a lot of enemies although I think everyone's friends now. Although I think Jordan Blilie is still kind of stung by "Blood Brothers with your tight muscle tees, double orange stacks and you're not speaking to me: Zoolander chaotic hardcore." That actually almost hurt my feelings and I never even heard Blood Brothers. How amazing would it have been if everyone was just living in fear of getting Sour Grapes songs written about them?